Dating in my adult life has been minimal. At 35 years old, I am a late bloomer in the dating world. Within the last few months, I have learned that dating takes work. I have been a bit lazy about dating in general. If you want to date, you have to invest significant TIME to date. Who knew, this was news to me, lol!
Since I have been at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs my entire adulthood, I have not had the capacity to give much energy to dating. Also, I want to connect with someone emotionally and spiritually first and foremost before physical attraction and have not found this person yet. So, if you are a late bloomer in the current dating world, seek out fellow late bloomers, make time for dating, and give yourself grace.
Seek Out Fellow “Late Bloomers”
Being a late bloomer is more common than people think. It is just not advertised as much. Fellow late bloomers will understand what you are going through. Dating is like driving a car. The older you are when you learn to drive, the more anxiety you will have about driving. The same is true for dating.
What seems so fun and simple to everyone around you in your age group, is not that simple for you. Married people and experienced daters may not remember how difficult dating was for them at one time. They may not understand the intense anxiety you are feeling. Fellow late bloomers will empathize and understand your apprehension and can give you advice that is more helpful.
Make Time For Dating
Making time for dating was a blind spot for me personally. I had no idea how much time you needed to invest in dating. No wonder I have never had a relationship or gone on many dates because I have been at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Safety needs have been my primary concern during my adult life.

Furthermore, late bloomers have a tendency to run from anything out of your comfort zone. You have little to no dating experience so you are scared to date. People do not approach you often in public to ask you out so the opportunity to date has been limited for you. So, begin using a dating app consistently for 10-15 minutes a day. The key word is consistency!
In the past, I would download an app and delete it within a few days or weeks. But, if you use an app, you need to be consistent about using it. Realize that it takes a long time to find someone on an app. It could take a year or longer to find a long-term partner on an app, even with consistency. Lastly, challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone by having fun on your dates.
Give Yourself Grace
If dating is new, you may be striving for perfection. Be patient with yourself. Realize that anxiety while dating is normal. You will mess up and that is okay. Dating can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. Find yourself, heal yourself, and begin showing the best of yourself within a new relationship or friendship.
Healing takes time so please be patient with yourself. If you think you need more time to heal, just date to meet new people. See what happens before getting into a serious relationship. Remember there is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. Certain life circumstances and situations create late bloomers. This does not mean there is anything wrong with you. You are amazing, please remember that!

Hope this helps,
Dominique Duarte
https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/
https://www.amazon.com/5-Love-Languages-Singles/dp/0802411401
Are you a late bloomer? If not, do you have advice for late bloomers? Comment below!