I just turned 33 last week and have been single my entire adolescence and adult life. There are times that it can be overwhelming to: track finances, pay the bills, make constant career decisions, submit for auditions and self-tapes, work, cook, grocery shop, work on my mental health and personal growth, do laundry, and handle life in general on my own. Living single is not for the faint of heart, but you can do it, if this is your situation. Here are some things that can ease the load of living single:
Write Everything Down
A journal, a planner, and to do list pads can be a single person’s best friends. The planner keeps track of everything that I have to do throughout the day, week, and year. Write down everything: appointments, work times, laundry days, workouts, tax time, even meals. This can give you a routine as well as keep track of various important dates and times.
Write consistent to-do lists and scratch off things as you go. It can give you a feeling of accomplishment to just get even the smallest things completed. Lastly, try keeping a journal to write your feelings and thoughts. Living alone can bring its own set of challenges, so journaling can be a constructive way to deal with those difficulties.
Reach Out to People
Yes, living single can be lonely, but you can reach out to people regularly. Most people will not reach out to you due to a multitude of valid reasons. I have learned that I have to reach out to people if I want a relationship, even a casual one. People love to get text messages that just ask how they are doing. Try texting at least one person a day!
Call and leave a fun voice message and make their day. For socializing, try to invite friends out a few times a month or find a meetup if you do not know anyone. You could also volunteer at a soup kitchen, or join a church, or organization. Find and create a small community so that you do not feel so isolated. You can also use dating apps to meet new people as well.
Limit Social Media
This can be a hard one. Social media can be a great tool for engaging with family and friends. However, I have taken a few breaks from Facebook over the years because I would often compare my life to other people’s lives. I want everyone to be successful and have all the happiness in the world.
But sometimes it is hard to see everyone else thrive when you are going through life with very little emotional support. If you limit social media, you can be more productive with other things, but most importantly, you will protect your mental health.
Cherish Your Time Alone
Being alone can be a blessing in its’ own way! It gives you time to be still, and just sit in silence. People do not often get time alone, so treasure the time you have right now. Learn about yourself, read personal development books, take walks, go to the movies, or take yourself out to dinner and a show.
Take a trip on your own and have fun by yourself. I think people are afraid of being alone, but it can give you a chance to be fully present with yourself and God. You will find your inner voice and learn how to listen to it without the noise of outside influences.
Conclusion
Living single in NYC has brought trials, but it has created so much personal growth as well. Writing everything down, reaching out to people, limiting social media, and cherishing my time alone have eased the burden of living single. Being alone can be a gift. Currently, I am gaining a stronger sense of myself and my identity. If you know who you are and whose you are, you can show up in the world as the best version of yourself.
Hope this helps,
Dominique Duarte
https://bydominiqueduarte.com/why-we-should-go-to-therapy/
Book Suggestion: https://5lovelanguages.com/store/the-5-love-languages-singles-edition
How do you Manage Life as a Single Person? Comment Below!