Emotional abuse causes a gradual erosion of a person’s self esteem, confidence, and self-worth. Low self-esteem and low self-worth create issues at school, work, and personal relationships well into adulthood. In order to begin overcoming emotional abuse, begin therapy, read self-help books, journal, acknowledge the abuse, and self-reflect regularly.
Begin Therapy
Therapy is beneficial for everyone and can be a great tool for personal growth in all areas of your life. Since growth takes time, you should attend therapy for an extended period of time. Furthermore, you may not click with every therapist so shop around. If someone is not a good fit for you, do not give up on therapy, just find a therapist that works for you.
Read Self-Help Books
Since 2013, I have read self-help books or personal development books. I read several books a year. Reading self-help books, along with therapy has aided in my healing from emotional abuse. Consider reading the following: Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker; Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins; How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie; The Art of Letting Go by Nick Trenton, What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry.
Journal
Journaling is cathartic and a way to release all of your thoughts and feelings on paper. If you would like to journal daily that would be wonderful, but you do not have to journal daily. I journal whenever, but I can still refer back to old journal entries from years ago and reflect. Go back and read your past journal entries to see how much you have grown overtime during difficult times. As long as you are better than the person you were yesterday, you are doing well my friend.
Acknowledge the Abuse
When I think of my childhood, there are mixed feelings for sure. My mother and stepfather provided a great life for me with a nice home, clothes, and plenty of food to eat. However, it has taken years to acknowledge that I lived in a verbally and emotionally abusive household from childhood until I moved to NYC in 2016.
Acknowledging the abuse does not mean that you cannot forgive your parents. It does not mean that your parents were not good people. I have forgiven my parents and I know that they tried the best that they could. However, the effects of living in that environment for 26 years has left it’s mark in signficant ways that are hard to ignore. The body really does keep the score and self-regulating is still a daily struggle.
The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel von der Kolk: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
Self-Reflect Regularly
My dear barbie, you have come along way. Consistently self-reflect when things are going well and when things are crashing down. If you compare yourself to the person that you used to be, you will be able to measure your personal growth overall. Therapy, reading self-help books and journaling have given me the gift of self-awareness. Self-awareness is a powerful tool to aid yourself, become fully present, and empathetic to those around you.
Conclusion
Adulthood is no joke and no one is fully equipped to take on this thing called life. But, if you endured verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, you will be disregulated as an adult. Until you work on healing, you will consistently self-sabotage in big ways or more subtle ways. A traumatized adult raises traumatized children unless they begin to heal. Lastly, therapy is not a judgment on your sanity, it is a tool that creates a better you so that you can show up in the world as a fully functioning adult.
https://www.newharbinger.com/9781626251700/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents/