As a child, teen, and young adult, I went to school in predominantly white environments. This never bothered me and I was accepted for the most part so much so that I felt more comfortable in the white community than in the black community in my youth. What I did not know was how challenging life would be as a black woman in America. Black women have limited voice in the workplace, lack of financial stability, and a limited support system.
Limited Voice in the Workplace
In the workplace, black women are still treated like our voice does not matter. It is not always necessarily racism at work, but probably implicit bias. Everyone has implicit bias. According to the American Psychological Association, implicit bias is defined as a subconscious negative attitude toward a specific group of people.
In most situations, black women are the minority in a room, usually full of white males and females. It can be challenging to say anything without being labeled as difficult. In order to not receive that label, I learned to mute my voice at school and at work. Repressing my thoughts and emotions would then lead to eruptions of anger later on. Finding the balance between being assertive and being accepted is a a fine line to walk for a black woman at work.
https://www.apa.org/topics/implicit-bias
Lack of Financial Stability
In 2022, the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education found that 48 percent of black women have never been married and 51.1 percent of black men have never been married. Only 27.5 of the white population have never been married. Marriage is not a requirement in life, however living expenses are more tolerable when you have a two income household.
Black women tend to be single longer than their peers of other races or single their entire lives. Marriage is not easy at all, but it does give you a bit more financial stability than being single your entire life. Furthermore, you can split life responsibilities between two people in marriage. Supporting yourself financially for a lifetime as a single person is a bit overwhelming, even with a relatively high salary.
https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Get-Your-Money-Straight/dp/0767904885
Limited Support System
We do not tend to have much support from other people because black women tend to be the support for other people. In real life as well as television and film, black women are depicted as being strong, the rock, helper, or the one to go to for wisdom and advice. However, who does the black woman go to for advice?
It is usually other black women. Black women are the only ones to understand what it is like to walk in America with our hue. Many black women have had absent fathers, failed relationships, were used and abused by men, or were just seen for what they could do for others. Black women continue to fill the cup of others, but it is rarely reciprocated in the same way as it is in society for women of other races.
Conclusion
Being black is beautiful, but it can also feel like a burden at times to be honest. When I was a little girl, I had no idea what I was signing up for when I grew up. In the workplace, I have felt unwelcomed multiple times. My support system has been limited, except for other black women. Financial security has been rocky for me at best.
I learned the hard lesson that my life will never look the same as the white peers that I went to school with years ago. We live in completely different worlds and it is a hard pill to swallow. However, you can persevere and be resilient black women. We are a people of strong faith in God. At the end of the day, all you have to depend on as a black woman is God. If we did not have faith, I think we would break into a million pieces. Hold your heads up high Black Queens! You Got This!
https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/how-to-overcome-intergenerational-trauma/
Hope this helps,
Dominique Duarte