Author: dominiquelduarte

“Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” -Forest Gump. Who knows how to manage life after college? I learned that the quote above it so true to life. the Forrest Gump is a classic film that I have watched growing up. The quote above was just a funny saying to me at the time. But I had no idea how accurate this quote would be in my life. I graduated college 11 years ago in December and it has been quite a wild ride. Managing life after high school and college is not for the faint of heart.

2013-2016- NYC & Back Home Again

On January 2nd, 2013, I moved to NYC. I decided to move back home to Memphis three weeks later at the end of January. I stayed in Memphis for three years, but those three years were necessary for me to grow as a performer and a person. I performed more in those three years in Memphis than I have in the last seven years since living in NYC. Leaving NYC in 2013 was a setback at the time, but moving back home taught me to make the most of the setback.

2016-2017- NYC & AMDA

In 2016, I decided to move back to NYC after getting accepted into AMDA. On August 6, 2016, I moved back to NYC. I got a job at the Disney Store in Times Square, and took classes at AMDA, full-time conservatory from October 2016 until June 2017. I received a signficant scholarship to go to AMDA. I took a small personal loan the first year to cover the left over cost and was approved without a co-signer. However, I could not get approved for another small loan for the second year.

https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/how-to-wait-patiently/

2017-2018- AUDITIONS

I left AMDA after two semesters and began to audition in NYC. I got callbacks on my first two live auditions, which was amazing. I got an agent and manager in February 2018 and booked a musical in Colorado from March until May 2018. I came back to NYC and auditioned regularly while I worked full-time at Trader Joe’s. Due to burnout from performing, I decided to take a break from acting at the end of 2018.

2019-2020-Teaching & Church, Pre-Pandemic

In 2019, I began working for the Coalition for Hispanic Family Services as a teaching artist for the Arts & Literacy Program. In February of 2020, I applied and was hired as a full-time teacher at Achievment First Crown Heights Elementary for the 2020-2021 school year. During this time, I finally found a church home in NYC at Bethany United Methodist in Brooklyn. I joined the church about a week before the shutdown for COVID.

2020-2022- Teaching, Return to Acting

In order to teach at Achievement First, I had to enroll at Relay Graduate School of Education to study Elementary Education. I completed my first year of teaching and graduate school. However, my second year was not as successful for teaching or finishing my degree. I worked at two other schools my second year of teaching, but quit both schools before the end of the 2021-2022 school year.

Then, I took a leave of absence from grad school and began acting again after a 3-year hiatus. Surprisingly, I booked quite a bit of acting work in 2022 in television, film, as well as a play and a new musical reading. During this time, I worked at Jazz at Lincoln Center, returned to the Coalition for Hispanic Family Services, and began working in catering for Amerivents as well as Cipriani.

2023- A Year of Several Changes

2023 was a roller coaster of changes. In January, my catering jobs slowed down to nothing. In late 2022, I quit my jobs at Jazz at Lincoln Center and the Coalition because I thought I would make more money I worked more hours at the catering jobs. Once the catering jobs came to a halt in January, I enrolled in classes to get a security guard license and work as a flex security guard. At the same time, I applied for teaching jobs again. I got a position as a 6th grade math teacher at a school in the Bronx and reenrolled at Relay for my final semester.

2023- Brief Return to Teaching & Setback

When I re-enrolled in graduate school, I was hopeful that I would finish out the school year with a master’s degree in Elementary Education. However, I was asked to be dishonest by my leadership team at the school. I thought about being dishonest because at this point I felt desperate to keep this job to finish the degree.

But once my professor informed me that what I was being asked to do was against state regulations, I decided to resign. No one tells you that there are consequences for honesty. It was already April by this time so I did not finish my master’s degree again for the second time.

I resigned from teaching and went back to catering just in time for the busy season. I continued auditioning again and booked a staged reading for a new musical in NYC, a staged musical presentation in Pennsylvania, and a national choral tour that I loved. What started out as a really rough year turned out to be one of the most memorable years by early November.

End of 2023

November and December took me on another wild ride. I finished my tour on November 5th and returned home to a bit of a cultural shock. I went back to catering, but I knew that catering was going to slow down in January so I tried to find other jobs. I accepted three jobs within a few weeks.

Conclusion

2024 is a brand new year and I am thankful for it. I have learned quite a bit in just the last few weeks. I am learning to stand up for myself more and do things that are more aligned with my values. Yes, I want to act and perform, but I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur as well. My focus this year is to make that a reality. I started my own business in Tennessee and I can do that again in NYC. Working for myself is my ultimate goal and I pray that it comes to fruition. Life will throw things at you, but you have to just pivot and keep going. Be persistent and consistent!

Book Suggestion: The Power of Persistence: How to Stop Quitting on Yourself and Achieve Your Goals: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Persistence-Quitting-Confidence-Willpower/dp/1640954694

Hope this helps,

Dominique Duarte

Welcome to the year 2024! 2023 was the first year that I began using my voice in my daily life. It has taken years to find my voice. Now, I am working on using my voice consistently and effectively during conflicts. Finding your voice is a process so please give yourself grace. Sitting in silence, setting boundaries, and exposing yourself to diversity can help you find your voice in the world.

Sitting in Silence

Our phones, ipads, and social media have become constant distractions in our lives. We are always influenced by everything around us. Sitting in silence can give you a chance to check in with your inner thoughts and feelings. So, try yoga, meditation, journaling, or taking a long walk outside to rest your brain. Start with just 5 minutes of silence a day. You can add on more time each week or each month if possible.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is the only thing you can control when dealing with other people. Remember that you cannot control anyone or their behavior. However, you can set expectations about how you would like to be treated in a firm, and calm manner. This is a way to use your voice and take your power back in a sticky situation. If people continue to break your boundaries, then perhaps it is time to move on without that relationship, whether it be work, family, or friendships.

Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab https://www.nedratawwab.com/set-boundaries-find-peace

Expose Yourself to Diversity

Furthermore, try to expose yourself to a variety of viewpoints on a multitude of subjects. You can try to surround yourself with people of different races, ethnicities, interests, and socioeconomic statuses. If you only hang around people that look and think like you, then your ideas and beliefs will rarely be challenged. This will give you a limited view of the world as a whole. Diversity is essential to finding your voice within the world.

Conclusion

In conclusion, finding your voice and using it consistently will be a life long process for you. Siting in silence gives you a chance to discover your voice. Setting boundaries with people gives you a chance to use your voice with others. Lastly, exposing yourself to diversity can give you a wider perspective about the world as a whole.

Hope this helps,

https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/the-best-ways-to-process-your-negative-feelings/

Dominique Duarte

Do you think you have found your voice in the world?

Why or why not? Comment Below

My parents divorced not long after I was born. When I was 21 years old, my father and I met for the first time that I can remember. I had a few calls with him, but broke off contact not long after this meeting. I had no idea that I had any negative feelings about my father’s absence since I had a stepfather. After years of therapy and personal development, I now know that my father’s absence had affected me in a myraid of ways. If your father was not present, try processing all of your feelings, mourn the family that you did not have, and seek validation from within.

Process Your Feelings

I did not discover that I had issues with my absent father until very recently. You may be completely unaware that you have any feelings at all towards your father. However, acknowledging how you feel about your absent father is necessary to find peace in the future. Process all of your feelings whether it be anger, frustration, or resentment, feel it and process it through journaling or therapy. Once you process those feelings, then you can move toward healing. https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/the-best-ways-to-process-your-negative-feelings/

Mourn the Family that You Did Not Have

Most people have warm and fuzzy feelings when discussing family and past memories. You may feel sad that you missed out on memories and milestones throughout your life with your father. Furthermore, connecting with other family members can be difficult too, especially when everyone in your family had a present father in their lives. Processing the family that you did not have may be a lifelong journey.

Seek Validation from Within

When a parent abandons you, it can affect your self worth. You feel like if you were more valuable, then maybe the parent would have been more present. But a parent leaving has nothing to do with you at all and that can be challenging to believe. You make a habit of constantly seeking validation from other people to fulfill you to overcome low self-esteem. You are worthy! Your existence and presence are precious in this world. Try reading Honoring the Self by Nathaniel Branden:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/646185.Honoring_the_Self

Conclusion

Recently, I spoke to my father for the first time since I was about 21 years old. Honestly, I still have mixed feelings about having a relationship, but I plan to keep in contact with him since life is short and he is getting older. This may not be the solution for everyone who has an absent father. Processing your feelings, mourning the family that you did not have, and seeking validation within yourself will begin your healing and possible forgiveness toward someone who hurt you deeply.

Hope this helps

Dominique Duarte

Do you have Daddy Issues? How have you processed your feelings? Comment below!

Leaving home is a huge decision for most people. Your family, friends, and memories are in your hometown. Leaving home does not have to be a permanent decision. You can leave for college, or accept a job in another city. You could try to vist different cities or countries for your vacations. Leaving your hometown gives you more perspective about the world, gets you out of your comfort zone, and teaches you more about yourself.

Perspective about the World

Refusing to venture out of your hometown can give you a narrow view of the world. The world is so vast and there is so much to see and do. People have completely different ways of living and when you leave home, you can see those differences up close instead of just watching it on television every once in awhile. It gives your more perspective on what is happening in other parts of our country as well as what is going on in the world.

Gets You Out of Your Comfort Zone

Going to a new place can give you a chance to get out of your daily routine. You can meet new people, learn new customs, and try new foods. These new experiences will give you a sense of confidence in yourself. You tried something that you have never done before and met some new friends who are different from you, congrats! Be proud of yourself for opening yourself up to new horizons. Try Reading The Big Leap: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/6391876

Teaches You More About Yourself

When you go somewhere new, you can learn what you like, and what you do not like. People may think it is selfish to travel alone or move to a new city by yourself, but it can make you become more aware of your own interests. When we stay home all the time, we already know most of the venues and things to do in our area. Traveling or exploring other U.S. states and countries, you can learn how you operate in a new environment.

Conclusion

For the last seven years, I have lived in NYC on my own. There have been challenges, but I have learned about how people communicate differently, tried foods from many different countries, and developed a level of independence that I never thought was possible. You do not have to leave your hometown permanently if it is not for you, but at least try visiting other states or regions to expose yourself to more diversity and culture.

Hope this helps,

Dominique Duarte

Wanna Save Money to Move? Refer to How to Save Money On A Low Budget: https://bydominiqueduarte.com/how-to-save-money-on-a-low-budget/

Where have you lived and what did you learn about yourself? Comment below!

We live in a microwave society, where everything is quick and instant. We used to get the news once a day and now we receive it every minute. In the past, we would drive to get food and now it can be delivered to our door within minutes. This can lead to frustration when things actually take time. The truth is that anything worth having will take time. So how do you wait patiently? You can live in the moment, enjoy the process, and have a flexible timeline.

Live in the Moment

When we become impatient, we are usually thinking ahead about the next thing that we need to do. When you are constantly thinking about what is next all the time, it can create anxiety. For some this can cause you to take no action at all. For others, this obsession can lead to workaholism.

Be present in the moment. Stay focused on the current task. You might begin to enjoy even the most mundane tasks when you are fully present in the moment. Also, give yourself more time in between tasks or places so you do not have to rush all the time.

Book Suggestion: The Power of Now: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577311523

Enjoy the Process

Time passes very quickly and before you know it the day, the year, or a decade is over. We all have goals and can feel like failures if we have not reached the goal by a certain time period. We become so hyperfocused on the future that we forget to smell the flowers in the moment. The more you enjoy the process of getting to your goal, the less pressure and anxiety you will feel.

Have a Flexible Timeline

When planning your life, using a timeline can be helpful to create smaller tasks to reach your short and long term goals. A timeline should be a guide for you to accomplish things, but it should also be flexible. The more rigid you are with your timeline, the more stressed and defeated you can become.

A timeline can be a tool, but should not discourage you to the point where you completely give up on a goal. If you do not complete things on your personal timeline, give yourself some grace. The most important thing is to keep taking consistent action toward your goals. When you stop stressing about reaching rigid timelines for your goals, it is amazing how doors will begin to open for you.

Conclusion

Waiting patiently is more difficult now than ever, but when you live in the moment, even the most mundane aspects of life can become joyful. Using your personal timeline as a guide helps you take action on your goals. Lastly, enjoying the process: the good, the challenging, and the in-between, is truly living life. When you wait patiently, all parts of the process will teach you something if you are present enough in the moment to learn it.

Blog Reference: https://www.bydominiqueduarte.com/in-your-thirties-now-what/

Hope this helps,

Dominique Duarte

How do you wait patiently? Comment Below!